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And an old classic, mostly for kids ( and those of us who refuse to grow up from the kids stages )

A sailor and a pirate are talking in a bar. Their chat soon turns to their sea adventures. The sailor tells of his days fighting wars with the navy, and the pirate tells of robbing ships and killing his enemies. The sailor notices that the pirate has an eye patch, a hook and a peg leg, and asks, “How did you get the peg leg?”
The pirate replies, “When I was thrown off my ship and floated for two days until my crew rescued me, my leg was bitten off by a shark as I was being pulled out of the water.”
The sailor, impressed, says, “Wow! That”s very frightening . But what about the hook?”
The pirate smiles, shining the hook on his coat sleeve. “When I was sword-fighting with an enemy pirate for treasure, he took my hand right off.” But I killed him with my other hand .
The sailor”s eyes are wide with awe at how tough this pirate is, and he asks, “How did you get the eye patch?”
“Well,” says the pirate, shifting in his seat a bit, “a seagull pooped in my eye.”
The sailor looks puzzled. “You lost an eye from seagull poop?”
The pirate sighs and shakes his head, and with a bit embarrassment says “ It was the first day they fitted me with the hook...”
 
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