A new classic, IMO.
A Russian soldier ran up to a nun. Out of breath, he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt sister, I'll explain later.”
The nun agreed. A moment later two military police came up there and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?”
The nun replied, “He went that way."
After the military police took off, the soldier crawled out from under her habit and said, “I can't thank you enough Sister. You see, I don't want to go to Ukraine.” The nun said, “I understand completely.”
The soldier added, “I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!”
The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would've seen a great pair of testicles. I don't want to go to Ukraine either. “