I keep pre-cooked bacon in the fridge which I’ll put in my pockets in the event of a hurricane, a tornado or an earthquake . That way, if I’m trapped under a bunch of rubble, rescue dogs will find me first !
And rubberneckers in the fast lane who slow down nearly to a grinding halt to gawk across a 4 ft. concrete wall highway divider, at some fender bender on the other side‘s opposing traffic direction just because there is a police car or ambulance with lights on or even just a tow truck yanking the cars out of there . I have been stuck in miles-long jams , to the tune of a couple of times a month because of that ..opposing highway traffic accidents with absolutely nothing obstructing the direction in which I was heading . And we‘re talking about four lanes in each direction..all jammed . 🤬😡
A man sits next to a woman at a bar. He asks her : would you have sex with me for $5,000 ? She responds : Yes, sure . Then he asks her : How about for $ 20 ? She snaps back at him : Hell no, what kind of woman do you think I am ?! He responds : We’ve already established what you are, we’re just haggling over the price now…
( and genders can be reversed in the joke , if any ladies here wish to do that… )